Feedback

We had our feedback session with the child psychologist on Halloween.  I was more afraid going in to that appointment than I was of any scary movie or trick-or-treating. 

Of course, we had a "Cinderella" carved pumpkin, and we only watched 'Spooky Buddies' (the series movie with the golden retriever pups?)...I had high hopes of enjoying 'Casper' but after Charlotte's 7 mini-breakdowns in 'Milo & Otis' the week before thought better of it...So, not spooky and the only house that we visited that looked like it might produce a "scare" merely waved 'hello' at our little girls (I was back on the sidewalk - decidedly not risking it). 

But I was scared going into that psychologist's office, and not because he was wearing a skeleton shirt.

The psychologist was going to tell us something profound...that I was sure of.  Maybe even life-changing. 

And it was.  And then I had a mini-breakdown...and it had nothing to do with a kitten and a pug pup, dropped in a box, a float down a river and a snowstorm. 

While instituting the evaluation, an IQ test runs congruent throughout the exam.  That IQ score determines what should be the median line, what everything else is based off of. 

So, the good news?  The exceptional but kind of scary news?  Charlotte has superior intelligence, which is the highest category there is.  She has an IQ of 144 (genius, yes, I just typed genius, is 145) and he asked her repeatedly if she was "trying her hardest".  She even told him when he asked her where milk came from, that milk came from (mama) wolves (for all her babies).  And at the time, I was really embarrassed, because, everybody is suppose to just know that milk comes from cows.  But you know, I'm no genius.  I only heard "wolves".  A lot of the testing was grouping these really odd groups of objects and then puzzles, and everything was timed.  Charlotte did all of the grouping so fast that I thought she was just playing a game with this really fun guy.  Wow. 

So, Charlotte is brilliant. 

However!  The unfortunate news:  everything  else (ie. attention span, conceptualizing, expression, etc) is high average, her only one average: language.  He was not referring to her speech (disorder) only her language.  I served as her interpreter during the eval.  Which means: CHARLOTTE HAS DIFFICULTY COMMUNICATE HER THOUGHTS AND IDEAS.  She communicates as an "average" preschooler, not even, really, because she can be very hard to understand, so people are treating her as much "less" than she is AND THAT IS WHAT SHE IS RISING TO.  Anyways, "high average" seems good...but apparently it's "not" because she is a "superior" child.  I just got a chill...I'm so proud.  We've got to engage! engage! engage! Not let her retreat into her little world, but pull her out of it and then make her talk about it. 

And Charlotte is, understandably, very frustrated.  Her anxiety level is high.  Along with her brilliant mind, she is very sensitive and aware of what is going on around her, the feelings of others and she is INTERNALIZING ALL OF IT.  Life is crazy for us right now.  We are undergoing "two of the three most stressful events" in life.  Re-locating/Move/Change in Job.  "Stress" and "Nervous Energy" just kind of hang around and haunt the house.  We need Ghostbusters...

No parent wants to hear that their child is suffering from anxiety.  Much less, their 4 year old.

I made it to the car before I broke down, but I did break down. 

You need water to grow, right?

I had no idea that Charlotte was feeling as angry and as frustrated as she was.  I hoped that the emotional outbursts were just that...and that there wasn't a deeper meaning there.  But we knew something was going on.  The psychologist has recommended as much speech therapy as we can possibly get her.  Speech therapy from the best (which is part of our move) we're looking to accomodate and accelerate as much of that as possible.  People judge you first on how you look, second on how you sound.  Charlotte is as cute as a button; but technically speaking, her articulation puts her on a 'less than two year old' level but she has a BRILLIANT mind. Her teacher was worried Charlotte might need to repeat preschool.  She was thrilled to get the psychologist's feedback and realizes now that Charlotte needs a little bit more in the way of an interpreter and that she needs to be pushed harder, encouraged more - that "energy" everybody was so worried about, is because she isn't being challenged.  She's bored.

And, obviously, she does not have ADD.  She is just a bright and inquisitive child that is easily distracted and intrigued by the world around her and her caregivers need to encourage her experience in it. 

But I also feel a little brave, and proud of us.  Because how many people put themselves out there and ask to be criticized?  Pay a professional to evaluate their child and the job they're doing as that child's parents.

And we did that. 

God put our family together for a reason.  He choose me as her mom and Adam as her dad because we are exactly who she needs. 
ALLERGY TEST!  Charlotte finally had her allergy test.  She's allergic to cats and pollen.  Awesome.  No, really, I'm just incredibly thankful it wasn't dust, dogs and cotton.  When she was finished she asked if she could do it again...because it "tickled".