But she's never had a "Charlotte Rose Wilson". And the teacher is getting a bit more and more desperate in our over-the-half-door mid-day pick-up chats and after-school telephone calls. On one particular morning the two of us were actually reduced to tears discussing Charlotte. And she throws out the term: "special needs" when referring to my first born.
WTF? I mean geez, it's just articulation...
And then a bit later that same day, I'm reduced to tears again while Ruby is playing on the playground at the park after our run and the enormous, "Strong Stoller Mommies" group is finished with their work-out and their kids are flooding the area, finally out of their stroller prisons, and I look particularly looney because my iPhone is in my pocket and I'm on my headphones with the miniscule microphone, blubbering and sniffling to Adam, who's on the other end of the line. Who is also like, WTF? Special Needs?!
"Charlotte is behind the other kids in the class". But it's more than that. She's progressing, but she's "behind". Well, alright, but she's highly imaginative and creative and while these other kiddos have been hunkered down, excited to color and learn about boring stuff like the "ABC's", Charlotte's created "Charlotte's World" (aptly named by her, in her honor - she doesn't want to forget what it's called) in the playroom and can and will, entertain herself for 4 hours in there. Which is a skill highly valued by, I would think, all mothers. So, there you go, all kids develop differently and at different rates. Charlotte's been developing her creativity. She'll catch up. And she can cut out an elephant...just not on the lines. But she can free that elephant from the paper. "Developmentally Appropriate" for 4? is cutting snips along the edge of a piece of paper.
First grade is now Pre-K, I'm telling you.
She does not like to color. She does not want to cut. She's bored with pasting. She'll do the worksheets but she doesn't want to follow the directions. She wants to color the "Color the hair BLACK" hair, purple because that's her favorite color. She does not want to play what the other kids (girls) are playing in class. On the playground she's playing "Animal Rescuer" and searching for baby jaguars. But she's got a following. Charlotte could care less, but everybody likes Char.
Charlotte is popular. Everybody that knows Charlotte loves Charlotte. She makes friends everywhere she goes. I mean EVERYWHERE. Every teacher at the school knows her and loves her, teachers she's never even had, first year teachers. Charlotte makes people feel good about themselves. She is an amazing child. I would adore Charlotte even if she wasn't my kid. She's cool. She's fun. She's quirky, sure, but, awesome.
The teacher cannot keep her on task. And the teacher has a very important job to do. Preparing these kiddos for KDG. And, apparently, KDG is the new first grade. They have to know 500 sight words upon graduation (ahem, from Pre-k) and Charlotte can't remember what the letter of the week is. She can remember goats and geese, goldfish, glitter and g-g-g go! but not that the actual letter of the week is "G". Charlotte also insists on writing her name from the bottom of the paper-up.
Now, I know some of you are thinking she's just being oppositional and defiant. Except she's not. She doesn't get in trouble at school, she doesn't get in trouble at home, really. It's just that, nothing is easy. I mean nothing. Food. Cleaning up. Leaving the house. Getting in the bath.
Ruby wakes up in the morning, gets out of bed and says: 'Hi mommy!' I tell her it's time to go potty and get dressed. Boom. Done. Alright, Breakfast! She's sitting at the table and she eats. Time to go pick out your socks, shoes and hairbow Ruby. Done. Find your backpack! And she's standing at the door, ready to go. Ten minutes.
I have to allow Charlotte at least an hour. And I can't give her a direction. I mean, I DO! but it falls on deaf ears. If I don't do it for her, as in get down on her level, speak directly to her, tell he to repeat back the direction and then hold her hand - it will not get done. She can go to "The Uncooperative Chair" five times, it won't make a bit of difference, she's still crying, still getting distracted, still not following "directions". And we have started the day off on a very sour note and I feel like a piece of $h!t AND we're late.
I get frustrated with her throughout the day because...she doesn't follow directions, but I swear, it's like she doesn't hear the directions. It takes her five minutes to get out of the car when we get home, because she gets distracted. FIVE MINUTES. Do you know how long five minutes is when you just want to get into the house with your arms full of stuff?! She doesn't ever go potty when she wakes up because, eventhough I remind her, she gets distracted. We have friends over that are her age and she gets hyper-focused on her play choice and ignores the friends completely, they don't exist. Friend is off, playing house with Ruby.
We won't even get into bedtime. Because, everybody is tired at bedtime (including mommy, forget dad, he's already asleep). I give Ruby a hug, a kiss, hold her and sway with her for two minutes and she's snoring like a Flintstone. Charlotte does backward flips in the bed until she just collapses with exhaustion...which might take an hour. She CANNOT be STILL.
Charlotte's teacher has considered putting her at a "desk island" and barricading her from her friends. Which, to us, seems a bit extreme for pre-k 4. We are not going to go that route. But I understand her frustration. The teacher gives the children an assignment, hands out the supplies, the children hunker down to work. Charlotte's crayons start "talking" to one another. She doesn't get finished and she has to bring it home. At home, she needs her 4 hours of play time in "Charlotte's World", and is reduced to tears over the homework. At school, Charlotte has a hard time walking down the hall. She sees people she knows, or wants to get to know, she sees artwork and she bolts out of line, forget the rest of the class. And she's always the last one to do anything, put away the toys, the books, leave music class, finish snack, start lunch, etc.
But this is the tricky part, because when you're reading this, you're thinking, "she's 4!" and if you know Charlotte, you love her, ADORE her and you're telling me to back off, leave her alone, because she's probably one of your most favorite people. Her teacher is concerned. Her teacher is proposing, already, in SEPTEMBER! a repeat of pre-k. Her teacher's aide, loves Charlotte, and can't stand to think a single negative thought about her. The directors at the school, love Charlotte and are appalled at the implied negativity. Her speech therapist is very defensive of Charlotte. She says Charlotte is a very bright, very intelligent little girl that has her own way of thinking about things and expressing herself and she thinks the teacher needs to back off, she's 4!
Charlotte is different from the other kids. Different in a way that makes her extraordinary. Truly, she dances to her own beat in front of everyone and makes you feel good about life, about yourself even! but also, in a way, that does not foster success in school...and I think that is more valued in society today...
If we had Montessori School in Columbus, we'd be okay. But we don't. And St. Luke is a fantastic school. They're building in these kids a very strong foundation for learning. It's a feeder school for the three best in the area, which is two private schools and the #1 top-ranked elementary school in Georgia. They've got an important job to do...with preschool-age kids.
So, here goes:
My Confession:
Charlotte is going to go and see a child psychologist next week. I don't know what we're dealing with exactly - but his card reads: " Specializes in ADD/ADHD, Gifted, Learning Disabilities". So, we should be pretty well covered. But what he does? That which I'm so interested in: he's going to evaluate her over a couple of sessions and explain her strengths, her weaknesses, and what type of learner she is.
My motive is to understand the way Charlotte thinks, what propels her and how to best facilitate her learning. I also need something to soothe the teacher with, we've got parent-teacher conference coming up and fall evaluations. Teach has been putting Char's eval off for last, hoping we'll move, I guess. Because, like I said, Charlotte is a sweet kid, she follows directions (after she understands FULLY their purpose) and tries her hardest. She's not a "bad" kid, and very rarely needs punishing...but we haven't even started KDG and she's in a private school - and the teacher is frustrated.
A disheartened teacher in September is never a "good" thing.
1 comments:
Good for you, Ange. We gotta talk...
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